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About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 4, 1919)
till «unrw wrädt . tght innnsT 21 ioiq TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, SEP'IFMBER 4, 1910 AGENT GAVE IT UP Nothing for Him to Do but Hand Out Tickfct. Now He Makes Plaintive Appeal for Rule by Which He Can Tell a Min ister From Ordinary Run of Mankind. “Sky pilots! Whe-e-w I" whistled the ticket agent of a Missouri town the other day, so the story goes. “Well, it seems to me there are just ten times hb many as there used to be In this neck of the woods, and I tell you some of the guys who come up here to this window, sayin’ they’re ministers and asking for half-fare tickets look more like ballyhoo men at a street fair or circus than sky pilots. “The trouble is when a fellow comes up here to the window and says ‘I’m a preacher,’ there ain't any rules laid down for me to go by to tell him from a professional crook, or moll buzzer, or a right reverend, and so I have to hand out the ticket. “The other night 1 was talking to my wife about it, and we hit on a scheme, and when 1 went down to work next morning I had the family Bible tucked under my nrm, and when a sporty-looklng old chap, putting a cigarette, with a plaid suit and a neck tie so loud it was screaming at you, came up to the window, and says ‘min ister's ticket to Kansas City, please,’ I said respectful like: “ ‘Please excuse me, sir, but will you please tell me who wrote the second book of St. Paul’s Epistle to the Gala tians?’ “He smiled at me friendly, and said pretty quick, ‘Why Paul, of course. Now get busy with a ticket.’ “ ‘Nope,’ said I. Just as cold ns you plea Re, looking him hard In the eye«. ‘You’re dead wrong there, Paul didn’t do any such thing, and nobody else ever wrote a second book to those Ga- latians, for there ain't nay such book,’ and I thought I had finished him. "But, mind you, he Just sort of look ed at me sad-like for a minute like he felt sorry for me, and then he reared back and said in a voice just like he was praying: ‘Sir, I am a minister of the holy gospel, whether or not this finite thing culled mind tricks me in reference to the number of books writ ten by the blessed saint, Paul. I teach the philosophy of rational thought so as to co-ordinate with the elucidation of Internal forces upon the outward or extraneous matter which operate In opposition to the complete domination of the purely physical to the Intellec tual—the soul, some call It—and that the elevation of the spiritual retards the development of disease and error on this terrestrial planet on which we live and move and have our being.’ “I looked at him a minute, and then I said out loud, ‘Well 1 be dogged!' For I was thinking all the time to myself how a ten-dollar-a-weck ticket man was ever going to get wise to a line of talk like that even with a Bible In his hand. And I handed out the ticket.”— Kansas City Star Quaint Island. Elinley. one of England's oddest little Islands though only 48 miles frpm London, Is ¡1 parish whore roads, shops, bimps. telephones, motor cars, public houses nnd postotfiecs are un- known. The Island, which lies oft the Isle of Shoppe) ■y, Kent, Ims an nren of about 2.000 acres, i nnd Is the property of Oxford university. The inhabitants are mostly shepherds of large flocks of sheep. The oldest limn of the village is In his seventieth year. He has yet to see a motor The school and church are the landmarks on the Island. ■on they were built In such populated spot Is that In Is almost Impossible to lea vp Island. ns the fel l) which runs to from the Island is dangerous. A novel method of obtaining the services of the ferryman, who I Ilves opposite to the Island, is the open ing of the white floor of n hot facing the shore. At night a lighted candle held aloft serves the purpose of the open door. SHE HAD NO PATIENCE LEFT Wife’« Stock of That Commodity Pretty Well Exhausted in Effort to Reform William. A Chicago lawyer said at a ban quet: “La* me tell you a temperance story. “A long, rangy woman said one day to a parson: ’“Parson, Bill was drunk again Sat urday night.’ "But the parson answered In a sooth ing tone: " ‘Dear sister. If you would try be ing patient with William I Patience and forbearance work miracles, and 1 have faith to believe that in dear Wil liam's case It would be even so.’ "But the long, rangy woman shook her bead. “‘Looks to me,’ she said, 'as If I’d tried patience and forbearance about long enough. Talkin’ of forbearance, don’t I go weeks at a time without speakin' to the cuss, no matter what he asks me? Yes, hull weeks, but It don’t seem no good. Then, when It comes to patience, why, parson, I’ve locked him out of the house all night more oftener than I got fingers and toes, and time and again I’ve sewed him up In a sheet when he was full and walloped him with a rope till I Jest fair dropped with tiredness; and I've bolted him In the henhouse three days runnln’ In the patient hope he'd sign the pledge, but he. wouldn’t; and I’ve doused him all over with cold wa ter on many a freezln’ winter’s night, and I’ve had him run In twice, and I’ve mixed vinegar with his booze so as to make him sick, anil then waited with the patience of Job to see If he’d repent when he came roynd, but, parson, nothin' done no good. No sirec, It’ll take more than patience and forbearance to straighten that man out.” Who’s Who? In making the interestlnj portrait collection of Americans earlier than the eighteenth century, recently pub lished by the Boston Athenaeum, the librarian of that oldest history In the New England capital had to take into consideration the tricks thnt time 1ms a way of playing with the identity of ancient portraits. Several pictures of men and women who lived In the original group of colonies were ex cluded because It Is no longer possible to say with certainty that the names by which they are known are those of the sitters. It Is now known to be more than likely, for example, thnt the English poet, Charles Churchill, was the original of the picture long be lieved to represent the American sol dier of King Philip’s war, Col. Benja min Church. The portrait generally thought to be that of Mlles Standish Is open to the suspicion of really rep resenting somebody elRe. nnd some of the surviving pictures supposed to show the features of Roger Williams have been plausibly Identified as the portraits of other persons. Some astronomers nre of the opinion thnt the moon was once upon a time pnrt of the earth. nnd thnt, while the latter Was in u plastic state, our satel lite was thrown out from ft. They point to the Pacific ocean as the gusli from which it was rudelv rent. Maybe so. But nobody knows why the surface of the moon, of which we never see much more than half, Is covered with so-called “critters" that bear no likeness to anything on the enrth. They nre bowl-shaped, usually clrcular, nnd rimmed hv cliffs 5.000 to 10.000 feet high. There are at least 25,000 of them visible to the telescope, the biggest being SOO miles In diam eter. The late Professor Pickering of Harvard wn< convinced thnt the moon has a little moon of Its own. n few hundred yards In diameter, which can be seen only when the earth passes between the sun and the lunar orb, throwing the latter Iiu% Its shadow.— Exchange. In the Days of the Bustle. I was making a new dress for my self. It was n good many years ago, in the days when we wore bustles. The bustle which I wore was n home-made, crude affair. When fitting the dress. 1■». J had put oil the bustle in order to get Stonewall's Plan. the proper hang to the skirt. So. to As an American troopship pulled save time. I tied the bustle around away from a New York dock on Its outside of my house dress, and then journey to France, Stonewall Jackson tried on the new skirt. nnd Welcome Brown hung over the During the morning I found It neces forward rnll and looked with solemn sary to go to the store, nnd while wait faces down Into the choppy waters of ing In the crowded grocery for m.v the Atlantic. parcels, a friend, came up to me and "Whnt you’all gwlne to do, Stone said, to the amusement of the by wall. If one of dem pow’ful mean tor standers : AVh.v. Lillie. what have pedoes smash Into dls here boat?" you tied around your waistT” Stonewall remained silent for a I found I had forgotten to take minute, then he turned n sober face bustle off. and Imd worn It on toward his brother In sorrow. outside of my house dress all "What 1 gwlne tn do? Listen. way to the store.—Exchange. Welcome, my ole mammy done tolc me dnt dore nebher wuz but one mr.l Americans Rear New Town. flat eber walked on de water an’ got A number of views of »be up-to-date away wld It - but ef one ob dem chas village, built by the American Red ers ever smash Into dls hoat—say. Croev) near Pisa. Italy, are shown In Welcome, Ali'm goln’ to lie do second The one.”—John E. Scroggins, U. S. N., In Popular Mechanics Magazine. village has been built to Judge. « homos for artisans and their who fled from Venice during the war Rats Causa Loses« and since have not been In a position !.<».<« from rats In cities are cam- to return. The village will accommo mons. In 1008 the biological survey date 2,000 persons. ■unde h careful study of rat Infests tlon* in two cities. Wash'ngt« n ami Handicapped by Law. Baltimore, with the result thnt actual “Ton are suffering from brain fag I oshc - of produce nnd other property amount I ng aununlly to 8400,000 and and ennnlannounced the specialist. *100000 respectively, were revealed. "Yon should take more Interest In euroa are nearly la ratio to the yonr business.” 1 would like to," rvplled ths pa New Silk Blouses. The new Autumn style Books and Patterns are now here. Patterns at 15c. 20c.— 25c. — 30c. By Mail lc. extra for lac. and 20c. patterns and 2c. extra for 25c. and 30c. Patterns. Fashion Sheets Free, Quarterlies (including cou pon good for 15c. on pur chase of any pattern) 25c. each. There are aotne pretty Georgette Silks made into the fashionable peplum Blouses and shown in light and dark colors. Also Ribbon laced ‘ and frill trimmed Blouses in pretty shades of good qual ity Crepe de Chine. Silk Underwear and Neg. ligees in very dainty effects modestly priced. The Store that Sells tor Cash and Selling for Cash Sells for Less Charming New Fall Patterns and Colors in Colonial Draperies and New Wool Blankets, Curtain Fabrics Nashua “Woolnap” Blankets, of all Kinds And Clean Cotton Blankets For these Cool September Nights Zj4t Wonderfully Low Prices. I It will pay you, and pay you well, to investi gate the remarkable values in Cotton, “Woolnap,” Mixed and A’l Wool Blankets now being offered by our Blanket Department. Our New Fall stocks were contracted for away ahead of the recent advances in prices made on these goods and|we are affording you an excellent opportunity to take advantage of the savings we made by securing our season’s quota before the prices advanced. Cotton Blankets, 54 X 76. Pair $2.75 Cotton Blankets, 64 X 76. Pair $3 75 Cotton Blankets, 66 X 80. Pair $4.45 Nashua “Wool naps” 64 x 76- Pair $5.45 Wool Blankets, 58 X 78. Pair $9.50 Wool Blankets White, Plaid and Checks. Sizes 66 x 86 to 70 x 80 for $10 to $19.98. I I Comforter Batts <ylnd Silkolines. Those who prefer making their own Com forters will appreciate the splendid values offered just now in Comforter size Batts and Plain and fancy Silkolines. I Astronomers Puzzled. Butterick Patterns. Batts, 72 x 90 all in one piece, dji in d»i nr 2, 2i and 3 lbs. from................... $1.1“ Lv $1.4 D Yard wideJSilkolities. Plum colors and fancies. or 4 a Yard «OC* l»V jo Just Arrived By Express. A splendid quality, perfect tilting, all sizes from 8j to 10. Also colors in Grey, Cordovan and Champagne with Black embroidered clox. ““ — —— '■ Draperies are of greater importance in giv ing home-like character and style to a room, than any other detail of the furnishings. Colonial Drapery Fabrics are designed in accord with modem ideas in home beautify ing. • We are prepared to shew you beautiful fabrics suitable for every room in your home. Ladies' New Black Silk Hose, $1.75 Pair. —“ 1 FABRICS New Scrims at Per Yard 25c. to 38c. Marquissettes, Per Yard 25c. to 73c. Colonial Draperies from 39c. to $1.50 New Panel Nets at $1.88 and $2.50 See Special Display in our Third St. Window. ■ — ■ "T Liberty Bonds of any Denomination taken at Face Value in Lieu of Cash. These Fine New yWodels in Wirthmor Waists Just Arrived Z_/lnd they are Priced As Always at Only $1.50 Each The Ladies’ Ready-to-Wear Department <ylnnounc<s the Arrival of New Models In Stylish Apparel We cordially invite, we urge, every Lady in tbi.« county to pay à visit to otir Wometi’s-Apparel Shop on the Balcony. Every day sees something new unpacked and marked ready for disposal, something distinctive, something ultra-modish and yet withal garments that are very modest in price. Paulette Dresses $69.00 to $89.00 Navy Blue and Brown New Paulette Dresses—the newest and most stylish productions for street and after noon wear. It seems as though each month's allotment of these Beautiful Economical Wirthmor Waists reproduce« the ultimate in style and quality, but no, each succeeding selection shows some ad- .vance in style, some new littlejtouches of individu ality that puts them just a little ahead of pre viously designed models. In this wav Wirthmor Waists are always ultra-stylish, always superior in quality and work manship, always worth more than ordinary Blouses. And yet they are priced—as always— the nation over at only $1.50 Each. Wirthmor Silk Blouses made and sold under the same plan are »sold here also—and here only—at only $5.00 Each. New Serge Dresses $19.98 to $j9.85 Pretty effective mndeis with fancy vesta, military Braid and Button triinings, some with peplum effects. Ladies’ and Misses’ Fall Suits and Coats. Models by the makers of the famoua “Palmer” and La Vogue garments. Prominent among the styles pre sented are a number of the fashionable Blouse Back Models. • ytfina Taylor House Dresses and Aprons. Wonderful values and pretty styles in Bungalow Aprons and becoming models in House Dresses of Per cale nnd Gingham at prices from 11.75to $5.98. *